dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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