I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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