I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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