he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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