nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she smelled like a LAN party
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
