hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
