Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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