I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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