I'm jealous of your bromance
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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