I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
