remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
MIDGETS
????
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize