Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
