he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I want her autograph on my taint
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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