i think my mom watched the whole time
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
