I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
