That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
