i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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