you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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