i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
porn star boner night. come get it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
