Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
