omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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