Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize