Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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