there's paper in my vomit.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
