U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
