Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
