Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
