Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
