afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
