Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
