Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
