U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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