At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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