Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize