All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
