I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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