no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
