so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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