I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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