im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
