Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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