I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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