Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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