What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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