If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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