Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
