And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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