Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
