the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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