Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
