break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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