tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
