We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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