that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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