Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
