i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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