Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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