I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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