I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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