ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You took a bar mat shot.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
