I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize