Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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