before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
