The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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