Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
