are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
