Buhtt sex?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
