I wanna bring you to show and tell
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
