driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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