Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
