you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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